FILLING THE VOID

Filling the gap is often referring to us standing in the gap for Christ, bringing His Word and Message to where He calls us to go. As I moved out of my home & 14 year marriage, into a temporary home, then into a home He provided and have been "moving on" with my life, I have needed Him to fill the voids that were wide open and causing great pain due to all that was/is taking place. The world probably would not understand this the way other Christians may, but He tells us in His Word all we have to do is ask and He will fullfill our need, whatever that may be. Divorcing left a void that my husband had once filled ~ however dysfunctional it may have been ~ it was still a void and it was/is painful. I asked God to be my "husband" and take the Lead in my life as a Godly husband would do in accordance with Scripture. He filled that void ~ not in a sick worldly way, but in a loving and leading way that was & is needed. Since the question has been asked ~ what about the physical void ~ God doesn't 'cuddle, hug, etc.' ~ no, He doesn't. He comforts, He sends His Spirit to help you get through it until the missing of it is a passing thought and not an enduring pain ~~ and NO, this doesn't happen immediately (at least not in my case), it happens over time and through this passing of time God continues to do the transforming work inside of me that His Word promises and He refines and purifies, as His Word promises. This process is very painful and "long-suffering" yet it reaps the deep, true joy His Word promises and it truly does strengthen and create in me the new woman in Christ that He has purposed for me. It's encouraging for me to hear and know that He is preparing me for a SPECIFIC purpose and that nothing I'm going through is wasted, all is used for His miraculous purposes, works, all for us, His children and those chosen to be His children that are yet to be. I am nowhere near completion but then none of us are really until the very end ~ literally ~ which as we know is just the beginning! The world tells me that I should use this time to "get to know me, my self, WHO I am, my identity, etc." ~ well, that's kind of true, except that I know my identity already, I'm a child of God with a purpose he preordained me for ~ hence why I was created. I don't need to go on any "soul-searching/identity vacations" like the character in the "eat/pray/love" film felt she needed to do ~ there's nowhere on this planet where I can go that will change who I am or be able to give me more information about me than right here, in prayer with Him ~ all I have to do is ask Him and He reveals how loved and amazing I am as His child, designed on purpose, by the One who is Love and freely gives it. Now ~ do I walk around in a happy fog all day every day and am I never sad or lonely or experience depression or pain ~~~ don't be silly, I experience it all, happy, sad, depression, joy, all of it. My process is similar to many, yet nothing like any ~ unique as I am unique, same where same is shared. And it's different as I asked for it to be ~~ I was divorced once before when my children were very young and we all suffered greatly ~ all I desired was to be married again, with a home and be a family. I was so obsessed with getting back what I had lost that I took things into my own hands and did not wait on the Lord ~ I was also very young in my Christianity, a baby really, and not in the habit of turning to the Lord for THOSE kind of things and my choices then ended up leading to a momentary happiness that turned into years of more pain and hardship not just for me, but worse, for my children that lived it all along with me.....So when the reality hit that I was going to be divorced a second time I was filled with tremendous fear, I did not want to be as I was then, I wanted everything to be different ~ everything in me to be different ~ I was desperate for the Lord to show me how to do things right this time, how to put Him as the Head of my life, how to turn to Him and rely on Him, not on myself ~ yes, we as persons have to do things, make decisions, live, but we don't have to do it without Him & having done that I can confidently say that I would be foolish to ever want to do it without Him again ~~ and ever so grateful that I don't have to. He doesn't hold my past against me, He forgives me and uses it in a kind and compassionate way to teach me about the future, not in a cruel "you should've or I told you so" way but in a loving and learning way that makes life possible to live with joy and without shame. This time getting married again isn't even part of any thought process or emotion that I have ~ what a blessing! Yes, I miss being married and I even miss certain aspects of the husband I had, but I do not long for another, I do not even long for him, just miss what once was, but even that is fading away as God fills me with and blesses my life with more than I ever thought possible ~ but then that's just the kind of God He is~The God, my God, The One and Only True God ~ can I get an amen?!! AMEN!!